Why it's international "chase, catch and dress your moles day!"

Supplies:

1 large shovel
1 small spade
1 pair of bite-proof leather gloves
1-3 cute Beatrix Potter-looking outfits in appropriate mole size
1 bowl of wheaties (moles are very strong)
1 serving of milk for your wheaties
1 breakfast beverage of your choice
1 roll of sod to replace destroyed turf

Instructions:

Pour a bowl of wheaties
Add milk
Add other fripperies on top of wheaties to make edible
Consume wheaties
Wash down with suitable breakfast beverage
Proceed with great aplomb to yard
Stand spade in one hand, shovel in the other, wearing your best gladiator look
Make sure there is notable pomposity in your demeanor today
Locate your mole mounds if you are lucky enough to be beleaguered with moles
Lay out tiny clothing
Begin to dig

After locating mole, don gloves and attempt with all your might to extricate such fauna.

It was a valiant battle. Better luck next time.
Store BP clothing for next year's July 14.
Toast the wily mole with a dirty Martini, triple olives and one baby onion


Better luck next year!!

You can tell it's spring at my house! Why? Jiffy keeps running in the house, looking furtive and with a giant mouthful of something or other. This week's toy of choice is garter snakes. A few minutes ago, I had to break up a bite-fest between the two. The tiny snake was doing his best to appear ferocious and strike repeatedly at the giant feline furball. Alas, Jiffy viewed this as a delightful game and took Mr.Snake behind the sofa for more games. First bats. Then mice, now snakes. Jiffy! Keep these things outside!!!!! She's worse than a little boy! I am reallllllly hoping she doesn't get good at catching baby bunnies!!!

Whoa! And she's still performing in Vegas? Who has introduced her to the fountain of youth? (or rather the fountain of botox?) Would I want to look that young as a 63 year-old? Hell yes. Would I want to go under the knife repeatedly to do so? Hell no. There are limits!

Last week was frenetic beyond all belief. Thank goodness I had yesterday off with NO rehearsals!!! Woot! It was divine. In the course of a week, the following things occurred:( Read more )

Awesome weather much appreciated! Thanks, Earth!

May 30 or 31st? I actually *quivering with delight* have both nights off!!!!!!!!!! Lincoln or Omaha is fine. We are down to one cat who can spend the night in the basement if that will help the allergies?

.....in my livejournal friends group. This person was throwing their head back in delight and I just kept scratching and rumpling hair like crazy! What do you suppose that means????

Neko no Kiokuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Happy Birthday *gasp, choke, swallow, inhale* TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu! xx00

Hope you're having a groovy day, Jersey girl!!

Stupid stupid missing escaping sneaky elusive cell phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much thanks to Pigfuckinghat, Glittergodzilla, Theatrenerd, Mattamir, Polymorphism and Nick_number for attending the maelstrom last night! We were also treated to a new member, "Josh" (do you have an LJ moniker, Josh?) whom we welcomed with enthusiasm. I was pleased to find he appreciated "Visitor Q" as much as I! Hamonrye55 was also in attendance! Much food and drink was consumed by all at the Indian Oven followed by a brief stop at the Dundee Dell in order for Nick_number to assess a certain scotch. Then, off to the Dundee Theatre to smell the delightful ancient "theatrereek" and estimate the amount of matching duct tape affixed to the decomposing velvet seats.

I must say, I would view the incredible "Phantom of the Paradise" again if the chance were offered. We will leave the details of the film and the describing of same to those more film detail-oriented such as Glitter or the like. I was so seized on the giant "WIDE-OPEN EYE" that I simply could not focus on anything else. Phantom looked like some overly caffeinated, helmeted bird person with the appropriate stage-makeup "bad-eye," which appeared suspiciously similar to a make-up coated paintball. Ahhh, the HUMANITY!! Paul Williams was an oompah-loompah-type villain which made it difficult to be plausibly intimidated until his face began to slide off. Not in attendance was Brontewhore and we missed her!!! (Marked decreased snarkage!)

Also, much thanks to those suffering from allergies for putting up with the always-present thin layer of cat fur which I can never seem to quite vacuum up!
It was a pleasure to have all at Casa de Sangimino! I'm always delighted to have a house full of folks. If I didn't hate to clean so much, I would consider running a B&B!

Stupid cold wind. Yer pissin' me off, dammit.

However, I am ultimately cheered by the viewage of Natalie Portman in "V for Vendetta." She has teh sexee!

Yays folks! To all brave souls who would venture to Omaha, please feel free to show up at 6 ish or after to perhaps dine & prime for the midnight movie!! I could even start a ceremonial fire in the pit and we could freak out the neighbors. (They are used to this from me!!) I will have an inflatable bed, a double bed, a loveseat (if you don't mind being scrunched) and a newly carpeted living room floor on which to stretch a sleeping bag should anyone want to crash for the night. Hamonrye55 and I will supply several different types of wine, possibly some rum and vodka and a variety of mixers or you may bring your own. Piglet, please feel free to bring a cigar to smoke on the deck. If you guys want to go out and eat, let me know and we can figure out what type of gnoshage is close to my home! We could cook out as well if the weather is good.

Ideas? Critiques? Poems?

P.S. There will be mass quantities of toaster waffles in the a.m. (we could never compete with Vikingpiglet's waffle iron!)

I must count this last weekend as one of the most entertaining in quite awhile! Details:( Read more )

So She's getting ready to depart for Anaheim tomorrow morning for a journalism trip with her school. Suddenly she stops to demonstrate a hilariously cute "monkey arm" thing before giggling like a maniac. This, of course, is very out of character since it is a departure from the continual solemn angst attached to being her "fraught with desperation" self.


Yep, this is getting played over and over in my mind for good yucks at various intervals!

I've got the 25th off! *swingy arms and gloaty gurgles* Midnite movie fun abounds!!

...four. Five counting the two viewings of all the special features. What a fun movie to make!! *Imagines being a toad on wall of set...(hey, I don't like flies)*

Now to watch The Shining (miniseries...not the Kubrick/Nicholson one) over and over.

....all tangled up in a tribal scarf! Yays! Swingy arms! Woot woot! And...my taxes are done! No paying in! I actually am to receive a refund for putting in an energy-efficient furnace and a couple of energy saving windows! Yes!!!!! Have I said how excited I am to be filing as a single person once again? No? Well, I'm awfully flippin' ecstatic about it!!!

Also, I love packages of new socks. Fresh, white, paddy, soothing socks.

Younger daughter decided to take lovely locks back to a lighter color after seeing herself on a news cast with black hair/blonde roots. I was proud of her articulation and straightforward conviction as she expressed her disgust with the recent YouTube violence. Good job, kiddo!! Now to get her packed and off to Anaheim this week for her journalism competition. I am hoping the kids don't get bogged down with their flights and all these delays related to long-overdue safety checks! I'm thinking she may have a bit of a frosty day completing a photo-journalism project on skateboarding. They plan to shoot this afternoon. It is April...isn't it? *check calendar once again*

Okay, now off to watch a coupla movies from the $5.00 bin. And gnosh some Chicken Tikke Masala! *skin starting to reek of curry again....*

Have a cell phone. Since I arrived home from bellydance workshop in Des Moines, my phone *now dead as hasn't been charged for 3 days* has eluded me. *sighs*

...passed away some time in the wee hours of this a.m. He was an amazing escape artist and an astonishingly tame little explosion of ginger-colored fur. He was four years old. He will be missed.

....machine washed. It's also pretty angry about the whole spin cycle thing. *sighs heavily and prepares to buy yet another cell phone*